Sober
by Rachel Noelle
Summary: Sober. It's such a cold, evil word. But, maybe it can become something else?


_**A/N:**__ Based on the song "Sober" from Pink. A woman I absolutely adore. I love her songs, they're so… real. _

_A bit angsty, but, I've grown quite fond of the song, and this is the result of that addiction. Please read and review!  
-Rachel Noelle_

* * *

_I don't wanna be the girl who laughs the loudest  
__Or the girl who never wants to be alone  
__I don't wanna be that call at 4 o'clock in the morning  
__'Cause I'm the only one you know in the world that won't be home_

Originally she started drinking just for the fun of it. And then, Gin left. They weren't just too particularly close anymore by that point, but, it still hurt. Like a knife through her heart.

And now, she was drinking to forget. She wanted nothing of Gin to remain inside her mind. She was desperate to wash the foul things away.

She didn't want to be this way, not really. It was just her only method to escape. But how many times had someone had to wake Hitsugaya in the last three weeks to escort her home early in the morning?

_Ahhhh-Ahhh, sun is blinding  
__I stayed up again  
__Oh, I'm finding  
__That's not the way I want my story to end_

Rangiku cracked her eyes open. She'd been out incredibly late the night before, and the noon sun did nothing to help her headache. But, she'd been thinking. Maybe she should initiate some changes. Do something for the betterment of herself. Maybe today would be the day?

_I'm safe up high,  
__Nothing can touch me  
__But why do I feel this party's over?  
__No pain inside  
__You're my protection  
__But how do I feel this good sober?_

That's what she liked about alcohol. She was invincible. She could withstand a hurricane or a tornado, without batting an eyelash. But something was all wrong tonight. Something felt different… and not in a good way.

_I don't wanna be the girl that has to fill the silence..  
__The quiet scares me 'cause it screams the truth  
__Please don't tell me that we had that conversation (I know we did)  
__I won't remember, save your breath 'cause what's the use?_

And the next morning Hitsugaya was asking about something she'd apparently talked about the night before. And she felt terrible. She felt bad physically, too, but she hurt him, she could tell. He looked to her, sadness and want to understand deep in his eyes.

Could she ever explain it to him? Would he really care once she mentioned the alcohol?

_Ahhhh-Ahhh, the night is calling  
__And it whispers to me softly, "come and play"  
__But I, I am falling  
__And if I let myself go, I'm the only one to blame_

The work was done, and it was time for her to go home. A warm autumn night. It was her season, and the night was just beginning. She wanted so badly to go out. But, she'd made a promise to herself. One she'd already broken once.

Maybe today would be the day?

_I'm safe up high,  
__Nothing can touch me  
__But why do I feel this party's over?  
__No pain inside  
__You're like perfection  
__But how do I feel this good sober?_

She'd done it again. Times like these she hated herself. She knew she shouldn't, but she couldn't resist. She agreed to someone offering to take her for a drink. Lying to herself, on the premise that 'he was just trying to be a friend.'

But, she wanted to stop. She just didn't know how.

_Comin' down, comin' down, comin' down,  
__Spinnin' round, spinnin' round, spinnin' round  
__I'm looking for myself,  
__Sober  
__Comin' down, comin' down, comin' down,  
__Spinnin' round, spinnin' round, spinnin' round  
__Looking for myself,  
__Sober_

_Sober_… it was a word rarely associated with her when not in a surprised reaction. Hitsugaya was surprised any time she showed up for work sober. What an evil word it was, too. No one understood.

She was crying out for help, but no one seemed to be answering. She didn't realize she was missing the obvious.

_When it's good, then it's good  
__It's so good 'till it goes bad  
__'Till you're trying to find the you that you once had  
__I have heard myself cry, never again!  
__Broken down in agony  
__And just trying to find a friend_

She sat in her rooms, crying to herself on her bed. Three o'clock in the morning. She wanted to be out as much as she didn't, and she'd even gone for a drink. She felt so miserable mentally that she trudged back to her rooms alone, muttering some excuse as to why she should leave.

Everyone knew something was wrong, but no one was trying to help. Apparently, Rangiku didn't get help when she asked. It was something she should have been able to deal with on her own.

_I'm safe up high,  
__Nothing can touch me (Nothing can touch me)  
__But why do I feel this party's over? (why do I feel this party's over?)  
__No pain (no) inside (no)  
__You're like perfection  
__But how do I feel this good sober? (how do I feel this good sober?)_

He knocked lightly on the door. He straightened out his robes as he waited for an answer. He knew she was in there, and the anxiety of watching her slowly push herself over the edge was killing him. There was no answer, so he let himself in.

_I'm safe up high, nothing can touch me  
__But why do I feel this party's over?  
__No pain inside, you're like perfection  
__But how do I feel this good sober?  
__How do I feel this good sober?_

He didn't like the look in her eyes. It terrified him. She looked like she'd given up, on more than just her love life. Hitsugaya rushed to her side and wrapped his arms around her. He silently pleaded with her to let him help. He was offering to be the friend she needed. He wanted to help her.

She finally looked to him, wondering if maybe he could understand after all. It couldn't hurt to try, right?

When he placed a soft kiss on her lips and cradled her in his arms she decided that maybe something could make her feel that good _sober_.


End file.
